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Bishop Interviews
sharon73 Offline
#1 Posted : Sunday, November 25, 2018 9:15:45 AM(UTC)
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Does anyone remember the interviews that were on the topic of the rule of chastity?
DisplacedAlaskan Offline
#2 Posted : Sunday, November 25, 2018 9:44:16 AM(UTC)
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I vaguely remember them. I do remember being asked if I was masturbating.
DisplacedAlaskan Offline
#3 Posted : Sunday, November 25, 2018 9:58:42 AM(UTC)
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I should also add that the first couple of times I was asked this was before I knew what was being asked.
Ravenwarbird Offline
#4 Posted : Sunday, November 25, 2018 2:14:36 PM(UTC)

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I remember being asked if I lived a chased life, when I was a kid. Now in interviews they just ask if I live the law of Chastity. Never been asked about masturbation in a Bishopric's or Stake interview. I also recall that an account of some Bishops in a Stake in Utah asking the youth about masturbation in interviews and even teaching lessons on it. Some of the Parents got upset about it and went to their Bishops to ask why and they were told the Bishops in the Stake were instructed to do that by the Stake President. So the Parents inquired of the Stake President about the instruction and were told he was told to implement the new policy change by an Area Authority who said, when questioned about it, that he had no idea what the Stake President was talking about and that such interview questions and lessons on masturbation were not part of any new policy and that no Bishop or Stake President had any business asking those questions of the youth unless the youth themselves confess such transgressions or it is related to some past problem the individual had and may still be struggling with, in order to further aid them on the path of repentance.

Could not tell you where, when or how I heard/read this but I do recall learning about it and agreeing that Bishops should not be asking such questions in interviews of the youth in particularly.
Remember the simple things are the fundamentals of life. Choose ye your path this day. Si prima non succederet usus duct tape.
RetiredOkie Offline
#5 Posted : Sunday, November 25, 2018 5:13:10 PM(UTC)
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I was asked once at age 34 in my preparation for endowment interview. Never again. Subsequent interviews... i was only asked the generic are you obeying law of chasty. Since i had no affiliation with LDS until age 32 ( barely knew the church existed prior to age 30), i had no experience as youth.

I was raised Lutheran. Church leaders delving into private activities did not happen in my experience in that denomination.

I knew nothing of masturbation until i was in college. I had never even heard the word , nor did i know anything of the procedure.
I had to look it up in the university library. .. no personal computers back then.

Seems LDS have an unhealthy attitude toward bodily functions. The quest for the unachievable temporal perfection seems to put so many LDS into a dizzying downward spiral of self flagellation...(which for some gives sexual gratification in and of itself btw). I wonder why a creator would design a body with powerful desires then punish for the misuse of same? Then again, I suppose there are those that have all sorts of desires that can be misused. Power, speach, killing, eating, drinking, ..... just to name a very few.

I suppose faith, justification and sanctification ....and the race,... the never ending pursuit to achieving the ultimate goal while carrying earthly baggage, will always be on a person's mind.


I wonder if the Asgard, Nox, and the Ancients, the Wraith, Ori and all the other english speaking Think beings in the universe have or have had the same problems?
I hope when / if we reach a higher plane of existence , we will be shed of all created BS.

"When the mind is enlightened , the spirit is freed, and the body matters not."
retiredokie

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Ddoger on 11/30/2018(UTC)
DisplacedAlaskan Offline
#6 Posted : Thursday, November 29, 2018 11:48:01 AM(UTC)
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Retired okie, I appreciate the insight as well as the Stargate references. From what I have been taught, and what I believe is that we were created in His image. Every bit of us. Our time on this earth is a trial and error phase of our existence. I'm not going to say one way or the other if masturbating is wrong, but I will say that humans are higher beings than animals. Just because we have the anatomy does not mean we need to use them. Procreation is one of the greatest gifts we have and we need to use it wisely. You and I, as well as many other members, don't (yet) have a companion to share blessings reproduction brings.
Ddoger Offline
#7 Posted : Friday, November 30, 2018 11:32:45 AM(UTC)
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RetiredOkie wrote:


Seems LDS have an unhealthy attitude toward bodily functions. The quest for the unachievable temporal perfection seems to put so many LDS into a dizzying downward spiral of self flagellation...(which for some gives sexual gratification in and of itself btw). I wonder why a creator would design a body with powerful desires then punish for the misuse of same? Then again, I suppose there are those that have all sorts of desires that can be misused. Power, speach, killing, eating, drinking, ..... just to name a very few.

I suppose faith, justification and sanctification ....and the race,... the never ending pursuit to achieving the ultimate goal while carrying earthly baggage, will always be on a person's mind.


Thanks RO you make some great points. Can I use some of this for talks?
“Men are disturbed not by things but by the views which they take of them”. Epictetus
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observer BOSUDA on 11/30/2018(UTC)
RetiredOkie Offline
#8 Posted : Friday, November 30, 2018 2:01:21 PM(UTC)
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Ddoger wrote:
RetiredOkie wrote:


Seems LDS have an unhealthy attitude toward bodily functions. The quest for the unachievable temporal perfection seems to put so many LDS into a dizzying downward spiral of self flagellation...(which for some gives sexual gratification in and of itself btw). I wonder why a creator would design a body with powerful desires then punish for the misuse of same? Then again, I suppose there are those that have all sorts of desires that can be misused. Power, speach, killing, eating, drinking, ..... just to name a very few.

I suppose faith, justification and sanctification ....and the race,... the never ending pursuit to achieving the ultimate goal while carrying earthly baggage, will always be on a person's mind.


Thanks RO you make some great points. Can I use some of this for talks?


Well lets see . At $0.50/word royalty ..l..l,.. well i really cannot afford to pay you that much for using my dribble . So you will have to use it for nothing.
As long as you do not hold me liable.

But if you want me to write the whole talk. .... Well you better have one of those bleeper things to play music at the appropriate time to cover the inappropriate words.
retiredokie

Mormondad Offline
#9 Posted : Saturday, December 1, 2018 4:32:25 AM(UTC)

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In interviews or Temple Recommend interviews, the questions are specific and general. The Bishop and Stake President are not supposed to delve into details unless something you say makes that necessary. The correct question is "Are you living the Law of Chastity?" If they start off asking more detailed question then they are overstepping their authority and position, assuming there isn't a specific reason requiring it. I believe I too remember being asked if I masturbated as a youth (1970's) but at that time answered truthfully that I didn't.


I am aware that in the past many church leaders asked a lot more details and delved into many areas they should not have. That practice was toned down during the 1980's and then done away with. There have been many things that were taught from the pulpit that you won't hear today. Masturbation being one. The last talk that even came close to mentioning it dates back to the early 1980's and GA's have been largely silent since on that topic. Other issues have also become more general in their discussion. Granted some are still very specific but others not so. You no longer see leaders asking or discussing specific sexual acts between married couples (yes this was an issue dating back to the early 1980's and before).
"Modesty died when clothes were born."
---Mark Twain
CheDawg Offline
#10 Posted : Saturday, December 1, 2018 12:54:13 PM(UTC)

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Handbook 1 (the one that only members of the stake presidency and bishoprics receive) states in no uncertain terms that the temple questions are to be asked word for word from the instructions, and not to be deviated from. That’s why so many will actually read them right from the recommend book. I don’t know why there are those few who will ask about Coca Cola, pornography, or other things. Maybe they’re just nosy, or feel a sense of power. There was always a member or two who wanted me to tell them whether tithing would be paid on net or gross income. I told them that the commandment was to pay tithing on their increase and it was between them and the Lord to determine what that meant.

In regards to sexual acts within the bounds of marriage the handbook says that if a member asks whether a sex act is okay, the bishop is to tell the member that it is between the member, the spouse, and the Lord. Is is not to be discussed further. No opinions are to be given. I was so grateful for that. I did not want to be having a conversation about sex with a sister.

Interviews with youth are a little more problematic. There are no specific instructions about what is to be asked. I never asked a youth if he/she masturbated or engaged in sex acts at all. I kept my questions more in line with the temple questions. I asked if they were keeping themselves morally clean. They were aware what that meant for their ages. When a youth came in to confess I never asked for specifics, it made me uncomfortable and I’m sure they were very uncomfortable, especially the young women. The whole purpose was to apply the atonement in their lives and move forward. They didn’t need to be mentally beat up by a judgemental bishop.
6 users thanked CheDawg for this useful post.
RayG on 12/1/2018(UTC), DadinSW on 12/1/2018(UTC), Roamer on 12/1/2018(UTC), Jaybird on 12/2/2018(UTC), LazerusLong on 12/2/2018(UTC), DisplacedAlaskan on 12/3/2018(UTC)
Nudedad Offline
#11 Posted : Thursday, December 6, 2018 7:50:38 AM(UTC)

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When I was fresh off my mission and not married yet, I went to my Branch President because I was having an issue with masturbation sometimes. It was a situation where I was trying to not let it happen, but sometimes the urge was just too much. all he asked was, do I still feel worthy? I thought for a moment and felt like I was still worthy. The guilt was gone. I know that Heavenly Father knows our hearts and what we are trying to accomplish.
People condemn what they don't know or understand.
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DisplacedAlaskan on 12/7/2018(UTC)
Al_M Offline
#12 Posted : Monday, December 31, 2018 4:06:55 PM(UTC)

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For people who think that masturbation is a horrible sin I say wait a minute. For those who say it is perfectly normal and natural I say yes, but...

It is normal and natural and should not be shamed as evil or wicked.

The problem with all bodily urges is that they can take over our lives and mis-order our priorities. All self serving behaviors are anti-relational and prevent us from being effective in sharing Christ's grace with others. But we all have self serving behaviors. The only way to master them is to focus on ministering to others. Masturbation in particular causes us to set expectations of our lawful sexual partners that are unrealistic and selfish. Unrealistic expectations are corrosive to marriage. Much more could be said.

One of the possibilities of naturism is the opportunity to reorder misplaced desires and evaluate others as human beings not covered up sex objects.

This is all very simplistically stated.

The problem is that most leaders in the church don't know how to talk about it because very few have come to terms with their own experiences with masturbation. Until we all do we will just be punting the issue down another generation.
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BareSoul79 on 1/12/2019(UTC)
Nudedad Offline
#13 Posted : Monday, December 31, 2018 5:05:51 PM(UTC)

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Al_M wrote:
For people who think that masturbation is a horrible sin I say wait a minute. For those who say it is perfectly normal and natural I say yes, but...

It is normal and natural and should not be shamed as evil or wicked.

The problem with all bodily urges is that they can take over our lives and mis-order our priorities. All self serving behaviors are anti-relational and prevent us from being effective in sharing Christ's grace with others. But we all have self serving behaviors. The only way to master them is to focus on ministering to others. Masturbation in particular causes us to set expectations of our lawful sexual partners that are unrealistic and selfish. Unrealistic expectations are corrosive to marriage. Much more could be said.

One of the possibilities of naturism is the opportunity to reorder misplaced desires and evaluate others as human beings not covered up sex objects.

This is all very simplistically stated.

The problem is that most leaders in the church don't know how to talk about it because very few have come to terms with their own experiences with masturbation. Until we all do we will just be punting the issue down another generation.


Very good point. I sometimes need to "relieve myself" because I start getting all kinds of sexual urges, that I don't like. Once I have that hormonal release, I can function normally. Plus, I masturbate for my wife. She loves to watch. It's a normal part of our sexual routine. I do think that in the efforts of our parents and church leaders to maintain sexual purity, they do, in a loving way, try to keep us ever engaging in the process. I remember having an interview with my Branch President one time and he just came out and told me not to be ashamed of wet dreams. they are a normal way for the body to release excess hormones and sperm. But sometimes the body needs that release at other times of the day. Yes, naturism is beneficial in seeing the body in a non-sexual way. Sometimes seeing some people naked is more of a turn-off than seeing them with clothes on. I know because I used to work in hospitals. I have seen all body types, young and old. I think that masturbation helps you to become in tune with your own body.
People condemn what they don't know or understand.
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BareSoul79 on 1/12/2019(UTC)
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